Sneaked out of class and came home early. Had food two days in a row! Have a lot to study for tomorrow's exam - I have no idea what's going to be on it! Have another exam on Thursday - and another draft of the script due on the same day. But then I'm free!!!

So we did do the blocking rehearsal today - me and BOZO. I obviously wasn't concentrating but it did seem to flow well. I need to learn my lines - and my natural awkwardness might do the trick. Aki thinks I am very similar to the character I'm playing but he has no idea how in reality, the character and I are exactly the same. There are way too many parallels between her and me. I could exploit them and deliver a magnificent performance - but unfortunately I'm not motivated enough. As I said before, Aki sort of forced me to act in the scene - and no one knows better than myself how I react to being forced. I hold it against them, and take revenge by not giving my 100%. But then I thought of Evil E - she is such a perfectionist. If she were doing the scene, she would make sure she was perfect. I'm not like that. I don't care much usually. I'm mostly satisfied with mediocracy.

I had a chat with a nice cager today - I might apply for a job at the cage. I'm not in the mood to explain what a cage is - it is a strange term and has nothing to do with captured animals...or maybe it does. Anyways, so I'm hoping to get another job - either at the cage or in a lab for next quarter. I have a job which is hardly a job. I "assist" Hyper Howard. Howard may be hyper in life, but on campus he is mostly inactive, which means I don't get much assisting to do and yet get a paycheck every two weeks much to the envy of all my friends who have real jobs. I would like to work more and get more money - but I'm still not sure about choosing between study and work. At this stage, what is best?

I always feel indebted to my father - who has payed for everything always. He wouldn't want me to feel this way, since he has enough resources to share them with me, but I can't help it. It has something to do with my mom's attitude in life..I don't know. Anyways, so I've always been very careful with every ruppee, and now every penny that I spend. One day it struck me - I will be earning money in a couple of years. I will have a job of some sort - or just some way of making my own money. Suddenly, I felt so relieved! Its like I had always assumed that I would always live on my father's hard-earned money, and just the thought that it won't be like that gave me hope. It gave me hope for a day when I'll be free - when I will be able to spend money, waste money, splurge on the most useless of things without feeling horribly guilty. Yayy!!!

My mom got the letter I had sent over for her birthday. She reacted in her very own peculiar style - she said all the nice things I wrote about both my parents were really deserved by my father and not her! When will my mom ever take credit for anything! I'm so glad I finally got to say everything to her - you know, all those important things that you feel but never say to your parents. And doing it at twenty two isn't that bad, I guess, if you consider a family incapable of expressing any sort of emotions like mine! With that one important purpose for coming to the other side of the world has been achieved. Three thousand four hundred and fifty six more to go :)