men men men men men men men men men

after all the research for my anthropology term paper, i've been thinking about sending a postsecret postcard, which means that i've been thinking about my secrets - things that no one knows about, and no one should know about. well, a blog is also the perfect place to share secrets, as long as it is anonymous, which mine isn't so much - but who cares...

there is one thing that worries me. i've come to realize recently that i have a problem. i like men. in fact, i love men. and lots of them. you think that's my problem? wait. hear me out. i love men who stimulate my mind. the most erotic organ is the brain, right? the way to NC's heart is through her mind. and that is it. i want intellectual stimulation and nothing else. no, that's not my problem either. so once i fall in cerebral love, i want undivided attention. i want to be the center of their universes. i want to be the most special for them. okay, so the problem is that i may seem selfish (which I personally think is fine) and unfair to the other person involved. i define the relationship based completely on my needs. the other person is stuck in something that is not their ideal/normal relationship, and yet takes up all their time and energy. they could want more than i want to give. oh also, i hate sharing the center with any one else. so no other women are appreciated. other men are acceptable. that's why i have so much fun with my gay friends :)

the point here is my secret. my secret fantasy life. where i have all these wonderful, intelligent, sweet, different men in my life, and i'm the only center of their universes. we have magical conversations under the stars, by the lake, in a cozy coffee shop, and on the moon.

and the problem is that i'm worried - about these wonderful men in my life who may not be living to the fullest because of me, and about what i will do if these men decide to move on with their lives. will there be a constant supply of good quality men who need some time off regular relationships? will i get to have the cake and eat it too?

enough about me. your turn...