feelin' blu

It's one of those times when I wish I was an anonymous blogger.

Today's just not been right.
Some distant relative passed away in her sleep this morning. Then I went to the film festival and screwed up the tickets once again. In the last three days I've managed to figure out all the problems one can face with the new ticketing system that these people have. Ran around a bit, and missed the beginning of yet another film.
It's my father's birthday today. He turns fifty five - not very old I guess, but makes me feel sad. Maybe also because he just left for Haridwar with a group of people for some religious work. And he's driving the car himself. Makes me scared thinking of the bad accident he had coming back from the same place the May before last. That was the first time I took care of him - the first time he needed me to do that for him.
Lunch was at this place where I had a beautiful time last year with my Sunshine. He hasn't been in touch with me for over a month now, and has left no lines of communication open to me. I'm not angry with him for doing this, but today I feel sad that he's not around.
I've been feeling very upset witnessing members of my family argue and fight. I almost feel like I'm their child, in terms of how badly it affects me. I worry about the little baby who is between all this, but I'm helpless.
Just want to stay home and unload some of this - but have to go accompany some family for some mundane task, and smile through it.