Here's why:

It's the kind of thing so special that I don't want to share with anyone, and also the kind of thing that fills me with so much happiness that I can't keep it to myself. That is my Sunshine.

In his absence, he has been much misunderstood. I have got so much out of our friendship that even a lifetime of sorrow will not be enough for me to pay him back.

So here's how it began. I met him, rather communicated with him some time in 2004. He was my boyfriend's roommate at the time. He seemed friendly, and very interested in photography, which was something I was involved with back then. We met in 2005 when he came to Delhi - he was staying at my boyfriend's place. He was in Delhi for six months, but it was only in the last month when we realized that we enjoy doing the same things, and that we should spend more time together.

When they both went back, my life went from bad to worse. I had had a lot of trouble dealing with a long-distance relationship, along with many other serious issues that I had to single-handedly take care of. Since my family was completely unaware of all this, I was on my own. My boyfriend had enough problems of his own, and could not give me the support I needed. If it wasn't for Sunshine, I would not have survived. Truly.

Over the next two years, our meetings were scarce and spread out, but each time we met, our bond strengthened. We talked over the phone for hours and hours and hours. Time would fly. We exchanged childhood stories - him growing up in a beautiful small hill town in north Bengal, and me in Delhi - and yet we had the same fundamental beliefs about life, relationships, and everything else. It was unbelievable to both of us how very similar we were as people. Sometimes it felt like the only difference between us was biological. (I hate using past tense like this!)

He saw me through the worst of times, and gave me the best advice. It wasn't just his advice that helped me - but just knowing that there is someone who is looking out for me - someone who will always push me in the right direction. And he always pushed me - expected more out of me than I ever did - and always made valid arguments that I couldn't argue with. And I'd like to think I did the same.

In the past few months, when it was international calling that we had to endure, the rule was that we call each other only when we are really happy, or really sad. And it worked out just fine. Of course we were looking forward to seeing each other. Whenever he comes to Delhi, I show him around. We take our cameras, and go to different places. He made so many places special, just by being there with me.

Tonight, I had a choice - to either delete my previous post and erase Sunshine from my blog, or to try and explain. I appreciate all my blogger friends' concern for me - but it is quite unnecessary. I've been sulking about his absence, but it's just because I miss him. I know at some level that he is okay, despite the serial bomb blasts in Bangalore today (!), and I know that he will have a valid reason for not contacting me - and even if I never find out why, it's okay. It's all okay with me and him.

*This happy post is a result of my decision to focus on the good - I've started carrying around my handycam with me, and shooting all the good things about life in Delhi - unfortunately, there aren't too many*