drunken post

Okay, so I might be a little drunk, but I'm home, ain't I?

So today was fun. Headed out to Columbia University this morning, as promised. Saw the most gorgeous campus ever! Looked around for a particular venue where a talk was being held comparing the "rule of law" in India and China. Didn't find it, of course. I was in the right building, just not sure where to go. I finally ask someone, this cute guy, but he didn't know. I took it as a sign from god and decided it was time to leave. By the way I had an extra drink tonight hoping I would fall asleep immediately and not blog, but as you can see, it didn't work! So I walk around more, and some more, despite my wounded foot (because of all the walking around, in men's shoes might I add!). There are two sides to the campus - a morningside, and a riverside. Both equally beautiful. I walk over to the riverside, which is quite a walk, but it is the RIVER side! I walk along the river, not really along it, but as close as I can get, and think about all the possible ways I can get to be on this campus. I feel dejected and inferior, failing to come up with any solid answers, and looking at all the cool, fancy people on campus. It starts drizzling, and I spot a bus going to Greenwich, so I hop on.

The stupid bus took me to Soho - which wasn't so nice because it was still sort of raining and my foot was in pain (yes, it's just my left foot, I don't know why!). Soho is a lovely place with fancy stores and fancier galleries. I find a cheap pizza place and settle down with a slice of pepperoni and a ginger ale. After reading more of the book I got yesterday, I decide it's time to head on to my next destination, which tunred out to be Columbus Circle. I had spotted it on my way to Greenwich on the bus. I wander aimlessly for a long, long time, an art I seemed to have quite perfected. Then I follow a woman into a random art gallery that has a student exhibition on the second floor. The paintings are quite nice, some sketches, some full length bodies, some abstract, some nudes. I almost ask the sweet curator woman to tell me their price - but I stop, reminding myself what RH said about saving money for my own films. I would love to invest in student art, but only when I cease to be a student artist myself, I guess.

So after that I head to a Barnes and Nobles - to pass my time until I head off back to Columbia for a film screening. I find this one book I had spotted long ago in a Border's bookstore and sit down with it for over an hour. The book's titled "Women who love men who love men". Very interesting, don't you think? Well, I could relate to the title very much from a personal experience and was very curious to know about other women's experiences. It was okay, not really what I had expected, but I guess its a step in the right direction.

After I left from the bookstore, I was quite lost and rushed to get to the subway. I didn't want to miss the film screening, like I had missed the talk in the morning. It was still cold outside. I caught the subway and sat next to this nicely suited gentleman. Very often I've been sitting around this archetype (the fancy businessman with a fancy suit, and shiny shoes) and wondering if there was anything common between us, being sure that we would never actually talk to each other, because our appearances are so contradictory. So I sat next to this businessman archetype, and looked at my map like I always do, trying to figure out when to get off the train. I think I might have sniffed a couple of times, because of the cold outside, or something. The guy looked at me, very concerned, and asked me if I was lost. Well, usually I am, but unfortunately this time I knew exactly where I was going, so I said, I'm fine. My paranoid mind still didn't trust him, so I don't indulge him too much, just told him that I really was fine. He was sweet I guess, thinking I was lost and crying. In the mean time, my book had made me realize that I was stupid in being so concerned about other's idea of my appearance. So I decided to enjoy the film screening and be myself, without being super crazy conscious, and also make friends, my new goal!

The film was brilliant - a documentary about this Swedish couple who were painters in early 1900s - Sigrid and Isaac. The filmmaker was a really sweet guy. I talked to him after the film, and he gave me his business card. Then I went on to enjoy the reception - these Columbia type events are wonderful - with fine wine, and cheese and crackers. There were some professor type people there, and some students. So I chat with the students, who are interesting undergrads studying political science and anthropology. They think I'm interesting too! So they quickly stuff themselves with the free cheese and wine that they're not supposed have, and we have a good time. We exchange email addresses, and one of them in particular is very interested in my films, and in India. GOD! Why am I in a stupid place with stupid americans who don't even know the difference between native americans and Indians?!? Why am I not in Columbia!?! Because I wasn't accepted there - oh, yes - you're right - sorry, I forgot about that!

Oh also, just before I went into the film screening place, I saw this desi man drinking alcohol while driving. I was standing at the stoplight and I see this man. I walk on when the light turns green, and this lunatic follows me! He shouts out something from inside his car from across the street. I ignore him of course, and thankfully he leaves. That reminds me, when I was in the bus, the craziest thing happened. The driver would turn on this warning message about pick-pockets every time a black man entered the bus. It happened twice, and I'm hoping it was a coincidence though it sure didn't seem like one. It was quite embarrassing. It is so shameful that this country calls itslef free, when it's only the white americans who are truly free.

When I got out of the sports bar around midnight, I felt very good, and safe. Maybe it was the beer, or the 80s music in the bar, or the lovely pleasant breeze - but I felt I was safe. My fear of this city had subsided. I felt that if I can survive four days alone at all times of the day, and night, in all kinds of places in the city, I don't have to be afraid anymore.

Tomorrow I might go to the Museum of Natural History, which is very close to where I'm staying, and then hopefully watch an off-broadway at night. Buenos noches mi amigos..

Oh also, I got an 'A' in Spanish! Yipppeeeeeee!