It’s the end of the world as we know it...

...and I feel fine!

Really, I do. Different, and just fine.

Have been in New York city since the past six days. I love it here. Just LOVE IT! All I want now, more 

than anything else, is to live here. I'd forgotten how I miss city life.

It's 1:33 AM and I have to get up really early to go to the Italian consulate, and then catch my flight to Croatia in the evening.

Blogger is acting funny so I will try to make this brief.

I've been up to all of the following since I got here:

- had LOTS of shrimp - the best being shrimp dumplings, and a shrimp fajita last night

- met Russel Peters and saw him perform in NJ

- watched Caroline with 3D glasses, and three quarters of The Reader

- bought too many books including 2 about Croatia

- saw a man dressed in a leopard costume jump over seven women

- realized that I know the subway as well as any New Yorker

- had a lovely time in Central Park

- obviously this is too much pressure, and I'm blanking out

Anyway, you get the picture. 

I feel like I'm ready to go through a major transformation in the next 3 months.

I have a lot to think about - a lot to learn, and unlearn.

Last night, just before falling asleep on my friend’s couch, I had thoughts that creep up on me from time to time about everything. They sound a lot like my mom. Last night they asked me about why I went through all this trouble of going to Croatia – why couldn’t I just stay where I was like everyone else? A few moments of regret and fear followed all of this, and then I fell asleep. This morning I remembered it like a bad dream. Its funny how I don’t get any of these thoughts while I make my decisions. It’s only later when I’m about to start out that this pinch of negativity appears. This negativity appears later because it is not really me. 

All my decisions, big or small, are instinctive. They may be right or wrong in the end, but I know that I need

to take risks, I need to break the monotony, the pattern, in order to grow.

Anyway, I'm excited and looking forward to a period of reflection and creativity. 

Wish me luck.